CBS EliteXC Primetime 5/31/08

All day, baby, all day. That's how a nigga eat!

MMA made its debut on national TV Saturday with CBS's EliteXC show featuring Gina Carano and Kimbo Slice. Another huge step towards mainstream for MMA, if it wasn't already there.

Now most hardcore MMA fans would agree that this wasn't the best way to introduce Mixed Martial Arts to the world. Since PRIDE's Yakuza-laden implosion, UFC has been clearly the premiere MMA organization in the world, with no doubt the best fighters. It would've only made sense for this to be a UFC show. Which fighter should headline such a debut? Millions of fans worldwide could've watched Anderson Silva rearranging somebody's nose, Rampage Jackson rearranging somebody's spine, or BJ Penn painting the canvas red with somebody's blood, then licking it all up like the psycho vampire he is. Not really sure if that would've drawn in fans or made them vomit under the cushion of their couch, but at least it would've given them a realistic picture of what MMA is all about.

For whatever reason, Dana White only knows, EliteXC inked the first deal, and youtube sensation Kimbo Slice was chosen to be the vessel by which the general public was exposed to MMA.


Now I actually have nothing against Kimbo. He comes off as a humble, hard-working family man who just wants to get his bread. It's obvious he's no Fedor, but he's definitely more well-known and will probably draw more viewers. If EliteXC could put on a good show, it could definitely do wonders for the sport.

As it was, I don't know how the average person flipping through the channels felt, but as an MMA fan, I thought the production went terribly. Just real strange altogether. First of all, they wasted SO much time it was ridiculous. Is it really necessary to introduce each fighter twice back to back? I guess having Busta Rhymes there was good to draw in the MTV crowd, but running 45 minutes over definitely cannot be good, and the CBS execs could very well squash Kimbo, shave his beard, and take away his bread.

Anyway, there were a few fights I found very entertaining:

Nick Serra vs. Matt Makowski

Really I only wanted to see Nick because he's related to Matt. And I would've picked him to win on that fact alone. I mean he's got 50% of the same genes right? Unfortunately, he got completely demolished. One of the weirdest fights I've ever seen. Nick seriously looked like George McFly fighting the bullies in Back To The Future. His stance was exactly like that. He got minced by Muay Thai kicks, jumped up in the air landing on his ass in an attempt to pull guard, then finally just flopped over dead and refused to get up. Just an all-around hilarious spectacle.

Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young

I don't think I'm sexist at all, but I'm not really a fan of women's MMA. Seeing guys beat up seems somewhat normal in today's society. Seeing women get beat up, you feel like someone oughta go to jail. Although I don't find the WNBA too appealing either, even though I know WNBA players could own most pick-up gyms in the country. Anyway, the fight was actually pretty good. Gina can never make weight, but she's a pretty good fighter. As is Kaitlin Young. They traded bombs, and neither really seem fazed. I know I would've been out cold from some of those shots. I agree with the stoppage here. Young was getting overwhelmed and her eye looked really bad.

Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith

Best fight of the night. I've always had the impression that Lawler had a Colossus-esque glass jaw ever since I saw him get KO'd by a Nick Diaz jab, but he seems to take shots well. The crowd kept booing, which was ridiculous since there was so much action. I thought Smith was done after he grimaced and fell back into the cage from the body shot, but he usually wins when this happens, as his cornerman Pete Sell can attest to. Finger-in-the-eye no-decision wasn't a good ending, but it was a good fight either way.

Kimbo Slice vs. James Thompson

I put $12 on Kimbo to win $2 to make me feel better in case Kimbo won, since I was rooting against him just to see how Gary Shaw would react, but still found myself rooting against him and my $12. The ref-ing was just horrendous this fight. I thought Big Dan Miragliotta was the second coming of Big John McCarthy, and even though I know he works for the athletic commision and not EliteXC, it still seemed like he was on Gary Shaw's payroll. A standup from side control after only about 20 seconds, allowing Kimbo to not intelligently defend himself for over a minute, and finally stopping the fight with Thompson still standing.

Overall, the entire show and especially Kimbo looked pretty bad. No cardio, no highly touted punching power, and of course no ground game. He got his bread, but maybe more bread than he deserved.

Anyway, I just realized who the perfect choice would be to introduce MMA to the public. Not Kimbo, not Penn, not Anderson, or even Fedor.

The 100% best choice would be GSP. Super nice guy, gentleman, doesn't brutalize guys too badly, cool-looking spinning back kicks, and of course, the sexy accent. And after the fight, we could have UFC uber-groupie Mandy Moore run in, followed by her buddy Minka Kelly, and kiss GSP on national television. That would definitely legitimize and popularize the sport.